I don’t know if this post can be understood. Perhaps I am just rambling.
Tick. Tick. Tick. The clock is bearing into me.
I can’t sleep, once again.
It’s funny, lying in the dark, stiff and unmoving, having one single purpose: Sleep. Rest your mind. Repair your body. Reprieve your stress…
I am supposed to spend a third of my day healing for the rest of it.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Two hours have elapsed. I’ve counted to a thousand sheep and back. My mind has grown tired by now. Yet it refuses to sleep.
My thoughts have become muddled. I am stuck in between consciousness and peace.
Everything has become unclear, my thoughts are superimposed over one another, they are a tangled mess. They are liquid-they are flowing- they have overflown the barriers binding them to the laws of reality-my imagination is spilling everywhere, unbounded.
Nothing makes sense.
My thoughts are wingless, yet they fly.
Images, words, ideas, they come and go, come and go, I try and concentrate on one, try to keep it still and study it but I’m unable to grasp them. Beautiful orbs and dancing lights, green trees full of life with pretty flowers blooming, the fiery beauty of fire. They can’t be described with puny words.
They come. They go.
I’m dreaming consciously. I’m thinking in my slumber. I’m Delirious.
When your thoughts are irrational, when you can think without limits, when up is down and down is up, when your mind can fly underwater and swim in the skies. Nothing is impossible.
The time, when nothing makes sense.
And, yet, everything does.
I am puzzled as the newborn child
I am as riddled as the tide.
Should I stand amidst the breakers?
Or should I lie with Death my bride?
Hear me sing, “Swim to me, Swim to me, Let me enfold you:
Here I am, Here I am, Waiting to hold you.”
(The Mortal Coil – Song to the Siren).